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Snap out of it
Whenever I get sad or off
That’s what they say snap out of it
Believe me I wish it was that easy
But this time it was
I layed in bed crying and hating myself
Then she needed me
My tears have never dried so fast
I didn’t care about how I felt
She needed me
I quickly thought of ways to calm her
They worked
I think
No matter what I will be what she needs
Even at my weakest
She snapped me out of it
Trust
She can bind me and choke me
I trust her not fatally injure me
I trust her knowledge
I trust all things lifestyle
She’s done research and it shows
I trust that she loves me
But I don’t know if I can trust her promises
Does she think of me
Her actions affect me to
I trust every time she lays her hands on me
But do I trust her words
I trust that she means it when she says she loves me
But can I trust her promises?
That question scares me
Good girl
I want a cigarette
Notice I didn’t say need
I want one
Purely out of spite
But why give her ammo to release me
I’m sure if she’s going to she’ll have reason enough
So I won’t give her another
These four days have been so rough
I contimplated taking a shot before work
One shot won’t kill
I’ll be fine
But then that lovely ringing in my ear occurred
Yup that ringing is my Alpha
She wouldn’t like this
I put the shot down and dump it out
I have to be a good girl
I want her to keep me
I hope you know
I hope you know
You haven’t left my mind
That two minutes fifty seven second phone call meant the world to me
I hope you know I love you
I hope you know I hope you’re happy
I hope you’re having a good time
This is the first day I’ve been sober since we haven’t spoken
It’s hard
But I hope you know you’re worth it
I’d give anything for you
I hope you know I love and miss with every fiber of my being
Xoxo
Baby girl
Every part
My heart aches for her voice
My body chills for her touch
Every snap for my Alpha
Every welt
Every scream
Every tear
All for her
My eyes miss looking into hers
My lips miss the way she kisses
My tongue misses the way she tastes
My heart races thinking of her
4 more days until I stare into her eyes
I scream
I yelp
Look me at the
Every part of me misses her
I love you Alpha
Nine
Funny it’s divisible by 3
Funny how my number is always in 3s
When it was bad my number was 12
12 shots I was Golden and had great time
But last night I was drinking away pain
First time in a long time
Terrified of someone I care deeply for
My heart being pulled by a woman
6 hr plane ride away
And to be honest
I don’t mind
I love her
I’d happily give her my all
But she can’t talk right now
So I might drink again tonight
It’s been a while since I’ve gone 2 nights in a row
But maybe the music will take it away
I’ll dance with Adam
And laugh
Oh yeah 9
That’s it no more than 9
9 shots and I fall asleep on the porch at the bar
9 no more than 9
Tired
3 shots
Two drinks before
I miss her
This sucks
All i want is to heat get voice
Make her laugh
Tell her how much I love her
I fell asleep last night on the bar porch last night
I just miss her so fucking much
4 more days 😭
I love you Alpha
I see the brilliance in you even in my current state I choose you
Good night
Alpha
Mommy
My best friend
I love you more than you could ever know
How
I am so fucked up and broken
I push
Then pull
I scream
I cry
I laugh
I want it all
How can anyone love me

I need someone on days like this is do…
I need you to love me
